She is in my trunk
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize