You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
