so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
