does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
