2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
