the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You may now shotgun with the bride
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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