Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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