we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
