so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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