Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
