no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
