all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
