I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
