Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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