dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
