We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
