Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I am naked and annoyed.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sext me about skeletons
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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