You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
