It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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