I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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