Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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