I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Couch. On fire.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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