id be glad to
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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