I want to make a zoo with you.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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