Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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