love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
