I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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