Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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