He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
