$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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