I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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