Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
