why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
