My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
