Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
