So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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