Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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