He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Oh god it's open bar.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
