shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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