I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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