There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize