We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
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Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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