just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
honey bunches of taint.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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