you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
