actually, I'm a sock model
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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