If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
