hell yes lets make some ravioli
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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