I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
