I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize