I can text with my tongue
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize