You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i think im in europe. pls send help
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
