The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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