youre lurking in front of me
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
