I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Let's get the cat blown out
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
