Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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