I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
