Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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