mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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