1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
