if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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