she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
