She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
