You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
