It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
