i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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