I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
