i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
