She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
