why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize